Beawander

Beawander

[bee-won-der]
noun
  1. The documented wanderings of Bea. Mostly to let her family and friends back home know she’s still alive, but partly so she can remember herself. 
I Quit!

I Quit!

7 min read

Sometimes, it’s the right thing to do.

I’m talking about my job and moving to Asia! Bye-bye Vancouver!

If it’s not working out or if it just doesn’t feel right, then it’s a sign that you should be pursuing something else. I know that quitting has a negative connotation to it, but It doesn’t have to be seen that way at all!

Just don’t quit life – it’s a very permanent solution to a temporary problem.

What?! But why???

So many reasons – some good, some bad.

Honestly, it’s modern-day slavery. I’m trading my time (read: freedom) for money. I would say that it’s worst than going to jail. Because I travel to that prison cell every day just so they can handcuff me because I’m hooked on their drug (money). And, right now the currency that is my time is worth more than any amount an employer can pay me.

They have complete control over you. Even outside of the 8H Monday to Friday that you are physically there or the 40H week that you only get paid for. Early mornings, late nights, weekends where you check your emails.

Maybe I’m just a rebel, but I absolutely loathe the idea of someone telling me what time to start work, how much money I make or how much time I can take off. Only I’m allowed to boss myself around, OK!?

Working at a job that you don’t like is equivalent to staying in a relationship just for sex. No matter how mind-blowing it is in the beginning, if there’s no substance or meaning, eventually, the fun will wear off and nothing will keep you there.

The Concept of Work

I call it “societal brainwashing” – go to school, get good grades, get a good paying job, buy the nice car and house, get married and start a family, climb that corporate ladder for 40+ years, retire then die.

Five years after I entered the workforce, I began to question: Is this all there is to life?

It seems like that’s the only option in life, and that once I hit those milestones I should be very proud of myself. Don’t get me wrong! I’m happy for those that have accomplished those societal goals, but only if they are happy for themselves.

I’m beginning to meet a lot of people my age who are also wondering: ‘What if that’s NOT what I envision for myself?’

Maybe this is what they call a mid-life crisis? In our case, it’s closer to a quarter-life crisis.

Once I realized that I don’t want what I have and that I have the power to design my life any way that I see fit, it feels like a cloak was lifted from my head and I can finally see clearly.

Bad Bosses & Coworkers

Maybe I would still be blissfully ignorant if I had great people to work with and learn from. People who actually care about their work, is a good team player and actually knows their shit instead of talking like they do is RARE.

In my experience, it’s usually 1 person on my team that I can actually look up to, 1 person that I just can’t stand because either they lack professionalism, is lazy or incompetent – usually, it’s a mix of these attributes and it’s REALLY tough when it’s your boss, and the rest are…okay. A normal distribution curve can be applied to ANY situation!

I know, I’m painting myself out to be a crabby old lady, but hey if it wasn’t for these people, then I would never get this fed up and start this crazy-ass adventure! Never thought I would be thanking the very people I couldn’t wait to get away from for life. I guess there’s a first time for everything – live and learn 🙂

I'll Die One Day

I’m becoming more and more aware of my own mortality. I’m not yet 30, so I know it’s a bit early for me to be so sensitive to it, but I know where this stems from.

I’ve been very lucky. I haven’t experienced any deaths (that I can remember) in the family until about two years ago. 2 out of 3 grandparents passed away. One of them I can deeply close to and saw as a father figure more so than my own dad. It shocked and shooked us all. Now that I only have one grandma left, I want to spend as much time with her as I can.

I don’t know how much time I have left on this earth. Sure, I’m relatively young and healthy, but that doesn’t mean anything – accidents happen all the time.

No one can guarantee you a long life. No one can guarantee you a happy one either, but at least that’s something I can change. If it’s within my control, then I want to call the shots. As Harley Davidson said “When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen”.

Back to My Roots

As I get older, I realize that I’m more and more interested in my heritage – the culture, traditions, language, values and most of all, the food. O.M.G. the food! 

If you’ve known me for a long time, you can tell from my evolution of boyfriends. White > White-Washed > Yellow #noracist

Being born and raised in the Westen society definitely has its perks, but I think it’s important for me to discover my roots and where my family came from.

Why?

Because if I don’t know it, I won’t be able to pass it down to my next generation and it will eventually be forgotten, which is sad. There’s a lot of history and extended family that I don’t know even know about. 

My maternal grandma has 15 siblings – I can only recognize 3 of them! My paternal grandfather has a hand in building one of the major roads in HK (Nathan Road, I think?). My mom speaks a dialect that I literally only know two phrases of. It would be super helpful if I learned it because it’s prevalent where I’m going.  

Bucket List Items

I don’t want to be born, live AND die in the same city – that’s just sad.

There are so many things to experience on this earth – swim with dolphins in Australia, go to the hot air balloon festival in Turkey, visit a monastery in Nepal! Why not now? What am I waiting for?

These bucket list items are also a way for me to push myself out of my comfort zone. I’ve been yearning for growth; I want to learn more about the world and about myself. I’ve been told that travelling and entrepreneurship are two of the biggest self-development journeys and I can’t wait to start mine 🙂 

Here’s my ever-growing bucket list! 

The Weather

I know, it sounds so petty and minute. I’d only come back to visit Vancouver in the summer – literally June, July and August. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association BC, about 2-3% of our population suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and women are more susceptible.  

Canada’s population in 2018 is roughly 36,950,000, 3% of that is 1,110,000 – that’s a lot of people affected. I may be one of them. In any case, I just don’t want to spend another winter here. I can handle the cold OR the rain, but both at the same time is really tough for me. So, onwards to warmer places!

My Last Parting Words

So, yes, lots of reasons why I’m moving to Asia.

Just like how I broke up with my last boyfriend, I only want to say one thing to my old North American lifestyle:

F*ck this shit – I’m out!

via GIPHY

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